Dang it, this was not going to be a mommy blog. And yet, here I go, not even a month into this thing, and I'm already writing a post about my baby, unrelated to anything crafty. But I just can't help myself--I want to get this down, and since I have this blog, I'm putting it to use. Feel free to skip this one--I've got some more craftiness coming soon!
I have to say, putting Little Sister down for her nap is one of my favorite times of day. It's such a relief, because it was never this way with The Boy (still isn't, as a matter of fact). When it's Little Sister's naptime, 90% of the time she's sleepy and sweet, 7% of the time she's silly and playful (and then crashes), and only 3% of the time is it a struggle. When I hold her in the rocking chair, feeding her a bottle as her eyelids flutter, I hold on to her babyhood for just a few moments. I always stay a little longer than I need to--sometimes because I want to escape another game of Candy Land for a few more minutes, but usually, because I can't tear myself away from staring at her lovely little sleeping face. I swear, she's a cute kid anyway, but there's something about that utter relaxation of a baby in repose that is indescribably beautiful.
Sometimes I think about Little Sister almost a year ago, just an infant. Other times I look at her and imagine the little girl she will be in two years. I even get carried away sometimes and imagine holding Little Sister's own baby someday, if I'm given the opportunity to be a grandmother. I can't help myself--this is my last baby, and every moment like this counts.
----------
Wow, I wrote this just over a week ago. I was waiting to post until I got some pictures of Little Sister sleeping. Then something happened. Little Sister is totally, totally fine, but the day after I wrote this, I got distracted and she took a tumble and I have been reliving the moment I found her crying at the bottom of the stairs the whole week. It puts a whole new layer on what I was thinking about before; how precious she is, how amazing. We could have had a tragedy this week, but instead, I have a million new opportunities to appreciate this wonderful little person in my life. I admit, I've been using it as a reason to linger even a little more in the rocking chair before resting her sweet little body in the crib.
|
I took this picture the day after the fall. That scrape on her nose was the only injury. |
I have been so thankful for my friends this week. Their honesty in sharing similar moments with their own (or other people's) children has been such a balm for me. I know that these things happen. I have stopped punishing myself, but I hope I can hold on to this feeling of appreciation for all of the tiny moments I have with my children, because they are so fleeting and so fragile.